WORDS WRITTEN IN SILENCE

I wait for your messages at night. I used to wait for those messages during the day, but those stopped arriving a long time ago. It took two years for me to not expect them.

Not just one night. It’s night after night. These thirty seven nights have felt like an eternity for someone to simply wait. Yes, I have been counting.

I still message and stare; awaiting a reply. None have arrived thus far. And, I wait.

As a reader, I know what is going through your mind; what a poor soul, blinded by desperation and unable to comprehend when he isn’t wanted; a natural progression, or deterioration of sorts.

It’s not the waiting. It’s not the late nights and blank stares. It’s more. It’s the desire to hold close what you cannot. In the absence of replies, the conversations we would have are now imagined.

It’s more than waiting. I have the same conversations we would have, just on my own now.

Soon, night thirty eight shall be upon us.

I shall wait.

Navin E. (still waiting)

I shed tears in solitude, sharing stories with myself.

Navin E.

Sunshine doesn’t reside here.
The mist is home
Those seeking shelter 
Or hiding their sins live here
Not me. This is home
There are no outsiders
We are hidden
From a world that is yours
Bathed in sunshine
Where one still cannot see

Sunshine doesn’t reside here
The mist is home
Those seeking shelter
Or hiding their sins live here
Not me. This is home

Sunshine doesn’t reside here.
The mist is home
Those seeking shelter
Or hiding their sins live here
Not me. This is home
There are no outsiders
We are hidden
From a world that is yours
Bathed in sunshine
Where one still cannot see

Sunshine doesn’t reside here
The mist is home
Those seeking shelter
Or hiding their sins live here
Not me. This is home

I am not lost. I just don’t want to be found. Not yet.

Navin E.

I admire cacti for their strength to survive with very little.

Navin E.

Love me two times

“Love me two times, baby
Love me twice today “

More than background noise
Echoing through the double brick walls

Grant me more than these words
Once shall suffice as the desire remains
Constant beyond this rapidly beating heart

Twice; it seems is a luxury
Once shall suffice

Words for my sister

Brothers are meant to be protective. We can be controlling at times. Forgive me, if ever I have encroached on your space.

These aren’t words to seek forgiveness.

Those words shall be penned another day. Here are words I wish to share with you, for I may never be able to say them to you in person.

i) If he walks away, don’t stop. Keep walking. Run, if you have to.
ii) If a man apologises through promises; walk away. He should have known how to treat you from the outset.
iii) Don’t apologise for who you are and never change for him. Change for yourself.
iv) You were a blessing to us when you came into this world. You are a blessing to him for entering his.
v) For all our faults, as people and as men, no one will love you as much as your father and brother. We are protective creatures. Yet, never expect anything less from him, but constant attempts to emulate us. You deserve nothing less.
vi) Make sure he understands your silences
vii) If you spend more time filling in cracks, instead of building; leave.
viii) Love with everything you have and make sure he does the same.
ix) Never lose yourself in him. Be who you are and work with him to make things better.
x) Never forget, we shall always be here; no matter what.


Your loving brother.

Further

We are at the end of the road
You and I
Were we ever at the same place at the same time?
Or had we convinced ourselves of the same?
A temporary convenience for two lost souls

There were moments
Did you not see this coming?
It wasn’t under the sunshine or the night skies
Time; it seems doesn’t matter. Had it ever?
Across time zones

The pace at which this Earth moves
Time and time again, but the days are different
The steps you take are steps after all
Standing still
As the mind wanders further and further away

Certainties; a façade of foolish dreams
From soft words and gentle whispers
We must now share hard truths
Our flesh shall never meet
And the sound of our voices shall never fall into each other’s ears

This is not goodbye
This is nothing at all
These are words and nothing more
Perhaps they are final and empty
This is all we shared after all